We have watched and waited today for the Lord to come and take Cheryl home but somehow, she is still hanging on. Her breathing is shallow and she does not respond to sound, light or touch. The hospice social worker came by today and we discussed how quickly she has declined. He assured us that many patients do go through this process and seem to stall out on their way. He also told us that hearing is the last sense to cease functioning. We are still talking to her and have let her know that it is okay to let go.
My mom and sister are still here with me and have been a great help in watching over her these past couple of days. We are all tired but we know that we will be able to rest soon enough. Pray for our strength and Cheryl's easy passing on to glory.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
It Won't Be Long
Cheryl is slowing down. Her breathing is short and shallow. She is still on oxygen and we have kept her medicated enough to keep her pain in check.
I will be surprised if she makes it through today.
Please pray that she will pass peacefully into our Savior's arms and that I will have the grace to let her slip away.
When her time comes, I will need to make phone calls to hospice, the undertaker, our immediate family, my church, work and community contacts so please know that even though I want to personally call and talk to each and every one of you that have gone through this ordeal with us, I will not be able to. My church prayer chain and neighborhood coordinator will spread the word and after I have family notified, I will make a short post here.
I thank God for all the love and support you all have given us during this 18 month ordeal.
I will be surprised if she makes it through today.
Please pray that she will pass peacefully into our Savior's arms and that I will have the grace to let her slip away.
When her time comes, I will need to make phone calls to hospice, the undertaker, our immediate family, my church, work and community contacts so please know that even though I want to personally call and talk to each and every one of you that have gone through this ordeal with us, I will not be able to. My church prayer chain and neighborhood coordinator will spread the word and after I have family notified, I will make a short post here.
I thank God for all the love and support you all have given us during this 18 month ordeal.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Rapid Decline is Difficult to Witness
Since going into hospice care this past weekend, Cheryl has experienced a rapid decline. Her vision is getting more and more blurry, coordination and strength are waning. By Wednesday evening, she was almost too weak to walk to the bathroom with assistance and on Thursday afternoon her right leg collapsed while we were trying to get her up. The nurse came and inserted a catheter to reduce the necessity of getting up to urinate and gave us some hints on how to help her move for other needs. The nurse did an assessment of her overall condition and consulted with the doctor about doubling Cheryl's Fentanyl Patch to try and get her pain under control. She also made a recommendation to put her on oxygen to make breathing easier.
Last night was a bit disconcerting as she lay perfectly still for seven hours with only shallow breathing letting us know that she was still hanging in there. This long period without being disturbed also had its drawbacks as it took us well over an hour to get her pain under control once she did awaken. Her oxygen machine came in this afternoon and it does seem to help appear a bit more relaxed. It is getting increasingly difficult to get her to take oral meds, since she is having some trouble undertanding what we are trying to do for her.
Family visits do seem to cheer Cheryl up. Michelle and the kids left before midday today and then her two sisters, Joy and Audrey drove down from NC with our dear family friend Elaine. During Cheryl's lucid moments, she is still having reasonably clear communication but these seem to be coming further and further apart.
I had a telephone conversation with her nurse this afternoon and she told me that it appears that Cheryl's body is beginning to shut down. The process varies from person to person, but we don't expect her to hold on much longer.
Please be in prayer that she will be able to talk to the family and friends that want to come by and see her. Also pray for peace for those that don't want to see her in such a state and want to remember her better days.
The kids, I and our families are each handling the grieving process in our own way, but by the grace of God, we know that He will carry us through.
Last night was a bit disconcerting as she lay perfectly still for seven hours with only shallow breathing letting us know that she was still hanging in there. This long period without being disturbed also had its drawbacks as it took us well over an hour to get her pain under control once she did awaken. Her oxygen machine came in this afternoon and it does seem to help appear a bit more relaxed. It is getting increasingly difficult to get her to take oral meds, since she is having some trouble undertanding what we are trying to do for her.
Family visits do seem to cheer Cheryl up. Michelle and the kids left before midday today and then her two sisters, Joy and Audrey drove down from NC with our dear family friend Elaine. During Cheryl's lucid moments, she is still having reasonably clear communication but these seem to be coming further and further apart.
I had a telephone conversation with her nurse this afternoon and she told me that it appears that Cheryl's body is beginning to shut down. The process varies from person to person, but we don't expect her to hold on much longer.
Please be in prayer that she will be able to talk to the family and friends that want to come by and see her. Also pray for peace for those that don't want to see her in such a state and want to remember her better days.
The kids, I and our families are each handling the grieving process in our own way, but by the grace of God, we know that He will carry us through.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Calls and Short Visits Welcome
We're getting settled into the hospice thing. We had an enrollment visit from one nurse on Friday and got Cheryl's hospital bed and table ordered for Saturday delivery. A weekend/night nurse came out Saturday morning and did an initial assessment on Cheryl and had to do some more data entry into the system. She made a few recommendations on bathing and mobility issues to help with her care.
After lunch, Jason, Sharon and Dylan called to let us know that they would be arriving shortly and then the hospice delivery driver called to say that he was on the way with the bed. I helped Cheryl into the bathroom to freshen up and stepped into the den to get things ready for the bed delivery. I'd only been away from her about one minute when she called my name and I turned to see that she had fallen in front of the bathroom vanity. After untangling her and the walker, I was able to get her back on her feet and settled in the recliner in time for Jason and the delivery driver's arrival.
Sunday went well for Cheryl, she is showing definite signs of weakness and is having additional pain in her lower back but we are able to keep things under control with regular doses of high octane pain meds. It was very difficult day for me as I ended our Sunday morning service by asking our loving church to grant me a leave of absence during this difficult period. They graciously consented and have offered to continue my salary. I am especially thankful that Dr. Craig Dunham is willing to step in and provide preaching and pastoral support for the church during my absence.
Hospice is still on holiday schedule today, so we have not yet had a visit from Cheryl's assigned case worker. The nurse that came out today checked her vitals and gave me some hints on helping Cheryl move across the bed more comfortably. Per the instructions we received from the intake nurse, we've been charting Cheryl's pain medication. Based on that, the nurse conferred with the doctor and they have decided to put her on the timed release Fentanyl Patch. This should avoid the peaks and valleys that she's been experiencing with the other medications.
Keep us in your prayers as we travel this final leg of the journey. We've had 32 good years of Home, great care at the Hospital, the nurturing of Hospice and the promise of Heaven. God has been faithful through each step along the way.
After lunch, Jason, Sharon and Dylan called to let us know that they would be arriving shortly and then the hospice delivery driver called to say that he was on the way with the bed. I helped Cheryl into the bathroom to freshen up and stepped into the den to get things ready for the bed delivery. I'd only been away from her about one minute when she called my name and I turned to see that she had fallen in front of the bathroom vanity. After untangling her and the walker, I was able to get her back on her feet and settled in the recliner in time for Jason and the delivery driver's arrival.
Sunday went well for Cheryl, she is showing definite signs of weakness and is having additional pain in her lower back but we are able to keep things under control with regular doses of high octane pain meds. It was very difficult day for me as I ended our Sunday morning service by asking our loving church to grant me a leave of absence during this difficult period. They graciously consented and have offered to continue my salary. I am especially thankful that Dr. Craig Dunham is willing to step in and provide preaching and pastoral support for the church during my absence.
Hospice is still on holiday schedule today, so we have not yet had a visit from Cheryl's assigned case worker. The nurse that came out today checked her vitals and gave me some hints on helping Cheryl move across the bed more comfortably. Per the instructions we received from the intake nurse, we've been charting Cheryl's pain medication. Based on that, the nurse conferred with the doctor and they have decided to put her on the timed release Fentanyl Patch. This should avoid the peaks and valleys that she's been experiencing with the other medications.
Keep us in your prayers as we travel this final leg of the journey. We've had 32 good years of Home, great care at the Hospital, the nurturing of Hospice and the promise of Heaven. God has been faithful through each step along the way.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
It's Time For Hospice
The past several weeks have been rough for Cheryl. As I posted earlier, we came home early from a visit with my family in Thomasville, GA because Cheryl was having intense headaches, nausea and double vision. Friday evening, we went straight to the emergency room in Savannah where they got her pain down to a tolerable level. On Saturday, the doctor called her in a prescription for steroids to reduce what they thought might be brain inflammation. Then on the Monday after Thanksgiving she was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with metastatic tumors in her brain and cancer cells in her spinal fluid. She took the first four of ten whole brain radiation treatments while in the hospital and then continued the remainder as an outpatient until December 12th.
During this whole time she has been on Dexamethasone (oral steroid) and various pain killers and endured their side effects. We have both noticed that she has been having increased difficulty in standing, her balance is poor and her muscle tone is poor. She's having to use a walker for support unless she is standing next to a piece of furniture or other stable object that she can hold onto. She's also been commenting that her double vision has been getting worse.
This past Friday, we took her in to the Low Country Cancer Center for a bag of IV fluids and that seemed to help the headache and double vision for a few hours but by Saturday afternoon, she was having trouble reading the scores on her football games.
As the week has progressed, she has gotten weaker and her vision has gotten worse. She is no longer able to read texts on her cell phone and she has trouble focusing well enough to send out texts or read medicine labels. Cheryl had an appointment scheduled for this Friday with the oncologist but I called in yesterday and described her condition and they told me to bring her in today at 2:30.
Dr. Negrea had a short talk with us, looked her over and reviewed her file and let us know that because she has carcinomatous meningitis (the cancer has spread into the lining of the brain and the central nervous system) that there is not much else they can do for her. They had talked earlier of doing spinal chemotherapy but he said that doing that or the alternative delivery of putting a port through her skull directly into her brain would not be effective for very long. At best, going through either of these procedures might add a few weeks of life and that both had a lot of potentially bad side effects.
Dr. Negrea told us that in his opinion, if it were himself or one of his family members with this condition that he would not opt for the treatment. He recommended that we get in contact with one of the local hospice organizations and make arrangements for Cheryl's decline. I mentioned that in my reading and research that I'd seen prognosis for survival at about three months and he agreed that based on his experience, that is about as good a guess as anyone could make.
Before we left, he hugged Cheryl with tears in his eyes and told us to hold on to our faith. Pray for grace for us in the days to come and also remember those that spend their lives caring for people that often don't have long-term survival.
As we figure out what we are doing we will continue to keep the blog updated. Cheryl is up to phone calls. Don't worry about disturbing her, if she is tired, she will let you know that she doesn't feel up to talking at the moment but most of the time she is really cheered up by contact with the outside world.
During this whole time she has been on Dexamethasone (oral steroid) and various pain killers and endured their side effects. We have both noticed that she has been having increased difficulty in standing, her balance is poor and her muscle tone is poor. She's having to use a walker for support unless she is standing next to a piece of furniture or other stable object that she can hold onto. She's also been commenting that her double vision has been getting worse.
This past Friday, we took her in to the Low Country Cancer Center for a bag of IV fluids and that seemed to help the headache and double vision for a few hours but by Saturday afternoon, she was having trouble reading the scores on her football games.
As the week has progressed, she has gotten weaker and her vision has gotten worse. She is no longer able to read texts on her cell phone and she has trouble focusing well enough to send out texts or read medicine labels. Cheryl had an appointment scheduled for this Friday with the oncologist but I called in yesterday and described her condition and they told me to bring her in today at 2:30.
Dr. Negrea had a short talk with us, looked her over and reviewed her file and let us know that because she has carcinomatous meningitis (the cancer has spread into the lining of the brain and the central nervous system) that there is not much else they can do for her. They had talked earlier of doing spinal chemotherapy but he said that doing that or the alternative delivery of putting a port through her skull directly into her brain would not be effective for very long. At best, going through either of these procedures might add a few weeks of life and that both had a lot of potentially bad side effects.
Dr. Negrea told us that in his opinion, if it were himself or one of his family members with this condition that he would not opt for the treatment. He recommended that we get in contact with one of the local hospice organizations and make arrangements for Cheryl's decline. I mentioned that in my reading and research that I'd seen prognosis for survival at about three months and he agreed that based on his experience, that is about as good a guess as anyone could make.
Before we left, he hugged Cheryl with tears in his eyes and told us to hold on to our faith. Pray for grace for us in the days to come and also remember those that spend their lives caring for people that often don't have long-term survival.
As we figure out what we are doing we will continue to keep the blog updated. Cheryl is up to phone calls. Don't worry about disturbing her, if she is tired, she will let you know that she doesn't feel up to talking at the moment but most of the time she is really cheered up by contact with the outside world.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Together for Another Christmas
Hallelujah, we get to celebrate another Christmas together. We are so thankful for all of our family, church family, friends and neighbors and acquaintances from years past that have dropped by, sent cards, called at just the right time, given rides to treatments, brought over food and have posted notes of encouragement here and on Facebook.
We thank you for being there with us for the celebration of what we thought was remission back in March. We thank you for your continued prayers during her second chemo series. We thank you for continuing to pray and encourage us as Cheryl continues the battle against brain and spinal cord metastases.
Since receiving this diagnosis, she was put on oral steroids to reduce inflammation and went through ten days of whole brain radiation to kill the tumors and treat the lining of the brain. She has continued to battle nausea, headaches and intermittent double vision. Friday afternoon, she lost her balance and fell off the couch. Praise the Lord, nothing was bruised or broken. The owner of one of the local flower shops was coming to the door to make a delivery when this happened. He helped her get situated and stayed with her until I got home form picking up prescriptions on post.
We don't know whether the symptoms she continues to exhibit are caused by the cancer, after-effects of the radiation treatment, or the medicines that she is taking. Cheryl took her final dose of steroids on Christmas Eve and we hope that dropping this plus juggling her pain meds will help get her back on an even keel.
Cheryl has her next appointment with Dr. Negrea, the medical oncologist on the 30th. We should know more about the plans for her spinal chemotherapy after that meeting. I'm off this week, the laundry's caught up and the dishwasher works just fine so we should be able to spend some quiet time together over the next few days.
Keep us in your prayers as Cheryl enters the next phase of her treatment.
We thank you for being there with us for the celebration of what we thought was remission back in March. We thank you for your continued prayers during her second chemo series. We thank you for continuing to pray and encourage us as Cheryl continues the battle against brain and spinal cord metastases.
Since receiving this diagnosis, she was put on oral steroids to reduce inflammation and went through ten days of whole brain radiation to kill the tumors and treat the lining of the brain. She has continued to battle nausea, headaches and intermittent double vision. Friday afternoon, she lost her balance and fell off the couch. Praise the Lord, nothing was bruised or broken. The owner of one of the local flower shops was coming to the door to make a delivery when this happened. He helped her get situated and stayed with her until I got home form picking up prescriptions on post.
We don't know whether the symptoms she continues to exhibit are caused by the cancer, after-effects of the radiation treatment, or the medicines that she is taking. Cheryl took her final dose of steroids on Christmas Eve and we hope that dropping this plus juggling her pain meds will help get her back on an even keel.
Cheryl has her next appointment with Dr. Negrea, the medical oncologist on the 30th. We should know more about the plans for her spinal chemotherapy after that meeting. I'm off this week, the laundry's caught up and the dishwasher works just fine so we should be able to spend some quiet time together over the next few days.
Keep us in your prayers as Cheryl enters the next phase of her treatment.
Monday, December 5, 2011
She's Not Glowing Yet
The weekend was rough for Cheryl with continued headaches and nausea. The local Wal-Mart pharmacists were able to track down and order the fast acting pain medicine that she needs but it won't be in until Friday. Until that time she is having to get by with ground up pain pills over applesauce to keep the worst of headaches at bay.
Yesterday she was cheered up by a surprise visit from our long-time friends Claire and Woody Reade. They spent the morning with her while I was at church and then headed home after lunch.
Today, Cheryl had her fifth dose of whole brain radiation (out of ten total). After the session, we met with the radiation oncologist to discuss how things are going. He is making some adjustments to the quantity and frequency of the steroids she has been taking for the past week. He wants to taper her down to a much lower dosage before she starts the next type of chemotherapy in her spine the week before Christmas.
We finished putting up our fall/Thanksgiving decorations today and have decided to do just some very basic decorating for Christmas. I assembled our tree that is lit with all white lights. We hung our 2011 ornament and an ornament Cheryl received from our friend Rachel. I made a simple paper ornament that has the words Faith, Hope, & Love printed across it that we hung facing in toward the den. Those are the things that we are holding on to as we enter the Christmas season this year.
We continue to covet your prayers for her recovery or at least for her to have freedom from the headache pain and nausea of the past few weeks. Don't just keep Christ in Christmas, keep Him in your heart.
Yesterday she was cheered up by a surprise visit from our long-time friends Claire and Woody Reade. They spent the morning with her while I was at church and then headed home after lunch.
Today, Cheryl had her fifth dose of whole brain radiation (out of ten total). After the session, we met with the radiation oncologist to discuss how things are going. He is making some adjustments to the quantity and frequency of the steroids she has been taking for the past week. He wants to taper her down to a much lower dosage before she starts the next type of chemotherapy in her spine the week before Christmas.
We finished putting up our fall/Thanksgiving decorations today and have decided to do just some very basic decorating for Christmas. I assembled our tree that is lit with all white lights. We hung our 2011 ornament and an ornament Cheryl received from our friend Rachel. I made a simple paper ornament that has the words Faith, Hope, & Love printed across it that we hung facing in toward the den. Those are the things that we are holding on to as we enter the Christmas season this year.
We continue to covet your prayers for her recovery or at least for her to have freedom from the headache pain and nausea of the past few weeks. Don't just keep Christ in Christmas, keep Him in your heart.
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